I'm a grandma!!

Yay!!!

Okay, so not really... but my gorgeous German Pinscher boy, Xavier, who I wrote about having to send to Saskatchewan WAYYY back in February is now the daddy of five gorgeous babies! Yes, dog people get very weird about things like this. We love babies. Who doesn't, really? And aren't these adorable? The only way they would have been better is if Miss True (the proud momma) had waited until May 2 to have them, so I could have birthday babies. But we'll make do with five healthy, happy babies.

Had a good workout last night. True to my word, I did not do any cardio, minus the cardio burst that I put in the middle of all my legs workouts. I don't think I needed it actually. Good God, I was tired. Shawn is still tweaking my new program, so Ambition Fairy and I just sat down and decided to come up with our own for the night.

Oh, I've never introduced you to Ambition Fairy? She's a spiteful, malicious, sneaky little something-or-other that lurks around waiting for moments when my guard is down and then strikes, coming up with new ways to convince me to torture myself.

Ambition Fairy: You know, you should really do those side steps off the bosu rather than the bench - it would be more challenging.

Me: I hate doing those off the bosu... I feel like I'm going to fall.

AF: But just imagine how much you're improving your balance and core strength...

Me: Well, yeah, I guess... won't kill me...

.... Little while later.....

AF: You know, you really could do three sets of those lunges rather than two.

Me: Yeah, but my knee has been bothering me lately.

AF: Lunges don't bother your knee if you do them right - it'll be incentive to make sure you're keeping proper form.

Me: I suppose I could just keep the lighter weight for the third set...

AF: Really, are you ever going to improve doing that?

Me: No, I guess not... a third set at twenty pounds won't kill me.

AF: That's the spirit!

...
...

Have I mentioned that I hate Ambition Fairy? Gonna seriously lock her ass in the trunk of my car.

I have a training session with Shawn tonight, which I am very much looking forward to. During my session on Tuesday, he made quite a deal over telling me how much I had improved, and even said that my commitment and improvement had inspired him to start working harder, which really made me feel good - even though I had no idea how to respond to that. I'm not good at taking compliments. He also spent a few minutes commenting on how my physique and physical appearance is changing (in trying to reassure me that I am obviously on the right track, nutrition-wise), which I actually found a little disconcerting - I'm really unaccustomed to someone being quite so observant of my appearance and so... objectively analytical. All positive comments, obviously, but, yeah. It was different. Part of being overweight is being accustomed to having people look by you, or through you, or simply ignoring people looking at you. The comments I receive now are limited to "Oh my goodness, you look great!" They aren't generally targeted to "Your hips are narrower, your legs, while more muscular, are slimmer, you've gotten considerably slimmer through the body...." etc. For Shawn, obviously, this is nothing more than a measure of how well our program is working, the same as measurements during an assessment - for me, it's a brief moment of "WTF, why are you noticing what I look li- oh, yeah, that's what I'm paying you for, isn't it?" (See, my irrationality is only brief and fleeting... logic does kick in.)

I've also decided, once again, as I get closer to my weight-loss goal, that I really need to re-align my thinking. My goal has always been "lose weight." Why? To be thin. But I have a serious self-image problem. I need to accept that. I think it's something that anyone who has chronically struggled with their weight likely struggles with. I just don't think it's healthy to say I want to "be thin." That's not a goal. That's a means of torturing myself and setting myself up for a really unhealthy obsession with my weight.

However, I am learning that I love to run. Losing weight makes it easier to run. Most runners stay on the lean side. So, my new goal is to become a runner - and I am losing weight to become a better runner. My goal is no longer a number on a scale; all lowering that number will do is help me reach my real goal.

There is a marathon in PEI in October. While I don't expect to be able to run the marathon (which is 26.2 miles), I might talk to Shawn and see if he thinks I would be able to do a 10k by October. It would be something to work towards, anyway.

And, it's Friday, and this is getting long, so I must skip to my FUN FACTS FRIDAY!!

• If you're a little scatterbrained like me, and yet rely on some sort of daily medication (like my migraine meds), the people at RealAge have a neat trick to help you remember taking your meds each day. Incorporate a unique action, like patting your head, tapping the doorframe, or turning in a circle when you take your dose. That way, you'll remember the action and the dose. Plus, the dog will have a great time look at you in confusion!
  
  
• Do you get the sniffles merely at the sight of a sick person? Not likely. New research suggests that simply the sight of an ill person boosts our body's immune response. Of course, by that theory, with the nine months I spent working in the province's biggest hospital, I should be Superwoman, and yet I spent most of those nine months with a cold. Hmmm.....
  
  
• Harbouring a chocolate craving? Is there a chance you're feeling a bit down too? A recent survey showed that people who showed signs of moderate to severe depression were more likely to consume chocolate than those who were relatively free of depressive symptoms. While the occasional treat is okay, if you find yourself turning to chocolate a lot to relieve emotional burdens, try to find a new outlet, like exercise, meditation, or talking to a friend.

That's that for today! Have a great Friday everyone and a wonderful weekend!