That's it...

I'm not asking questions anymore.

Every time I ask a question, I find out I've been doing this wrong. And then I get confused, because I thought I was doing it right, since I was obviously getting results and moving forward. And then I get confused and frustrated trying to figure out how to do things right.

Ignorance really is bliss, and I want to be a more blissful person. Because the current asking questions person is just frustrated.

Last week, of course, was my revelation that I'm working out too much. Okay, I get this. I've even managed to figure out how to work with this new "two days off" mandate. And I do understand why it's necessary.

This week, I was invited by Well Within to try a one-month trial of their new "Creating Wellness" website, which is essentially a coaching website for positive lifestyle changes. It designs meal plans, creates fitness plans, offers advice, etc. While I have lots of opinions about the website, when I was going through their meal plans (which I won't be using because they don't offer a way to easily make the plans low-sodium, which is one of the hallmarks of my own diet - I have low potassium, and keeping my sodium low helps my body absorb potassium) I noticed a few things about their calorie splits that confused me. So, I decided to ask Shawn about it, and about how I should be splitting my allotted calories.

Somehow, in the course of all this, I find out I'm not eating enough for breakfast or supper, not eating a big enough snack on days I'm training, I'm not eating enough snacks, and... well, ultimately, Shawn decided, probably not eating enough. And yet I come close to my 1500 calorie mark every day and stop eating at give or take 8:00 pm, which is exactly what I was told. Only now he's okay if I go over that, because of the amount I work out. As long as I have a source of protein, a whole grain, and a complex carbohydrate at every meal. And it would be nice if 70% of what I was eating was vegetables, because vegetables are so much better for you. And a snack later in the evening isn't that bad either.

I am so confused. He did actually plan out a sample breakfast (which is when we discovered I wasn't eating enough for breakfast - I nearly stopped breathing when his sample breakfast came to 500 calories, where most of mine don't top 400), to give me an idea of what my meals should look like, but it's still hard to imagine eating that much. Plus, it's completely counter-intuitive that, while I'm trying to lose weight, in the last two weeks I have been told to exercise less and eat more. Don't get me wrong, I trust Shawn and I'm sure he knows what he's talking about. Intellectually, I understand the principles behind what he's saying. It's just that not-so-intellectual part of my brain that is currently screaming "WTF?!? Put down the peanut butter and step away from that 200 calories of toast!"

*sigh* I really need to just suck it up though. As I always tell others, if it was easy, everyone would do it. And in the meantime, I'll try to figure this out.

Had a great workout last night, anyway. We were focusing on legs, with a few core exercises thrown in for fun, and I really enjoyed some of the new exercises we were working on. There were a lot of things that required me to work on my balance and coordination... and Shawn and I both discovered I really, really have a problem with the whole "straight" concept. It seemed like every exercise he was telling me to square myself off better, or straighten my body, or put my leg more under me. I think he's actually given up on trying to verbally explain to me where I'm wrong, because now he just physically repositions me. I rock. Can't even stand straight. And, yes, I do run people off of sidewalks.

Was off to the dog show today, then grocery shopping for the regular fare, plus some of the new things on my list that fall under the "things I didn't eat before but should probably eat now" category. Like granola bars. Always a treat I didn't allow myself, or allowed very rarely. Apparently the ideal snack before a training session would be a granola bar and a banana. Like, both. Which is 200+ calories. Yeah, that boggled my mind too. This is going to take some getting used to.