So, opinions anyone?

I'm having a not very good week, calorie-wise. Not that I'm actually counting calories, but I do keep something of a measure in my head.

First there was my decision to imbibe rather heavily Saturday night. Yeah. Alcohol is a little calorie heavy. Then, Monday, I gave in and bought this scrumptious looking piece of cake from Pete's Frootique while I was in Bedford looking for picture frames. I count that as a little bit of a victory though, because I really only ate like, less than half of it, and threw the rest out. Turns out I really just wanted to taste the cake. It tasted divine, by the way. I didn't even save the rest for later. I just threw it out. Then, yesterday, I was craving an oatcake with the organic coffee that has become my lunch ritual. Normally I just blow off those cravings, but yesterday, that wasn't working so well.

Pfft. Shoot.

That's okay. We just put it aside and keep going. It has been a tough week for me, and though I don't think it's okay to use food to deal with my emotions, I also think I need to acknowledge that my level of stress and emotional state is going to have an effect my ability to handle what has been and will always be a problem for me.

I'm also toying with the idea of digging deep through my piggy bank and somehow coming up with the money to hire Shawn for a little while longer. It's really stressing me out, the idea of not having his support and help anymore, since it's become painfully apparent how little I can rely on people elsewhere in my life. At the same time, I wonder if I'm becoming too dependent on that support. I should probably talk to him about this, as well - not that he would likely talk himself out of paying work, but I also think he would give me sound advice.

At some point I'm going to have to be ready to take that leap. I just don't know if I can do it right now.

Because I need to tell myself this.


Julie said...

You didn't find the solution to stress in food or you would still be eating. You only ate part of the cake, that is huge deal because if you're anything like me, in the past it would have been the whole thing, plus!!!
If your trainer gives you peace of mind and you can afford it, I say go for it. Maybe set a date in your mind that you will stop using a trainer and mentally prepare for it.

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