A letter I really needed to write

We've had a love-hate relationship for years.

You're like a drug to me; as soon as I think I've shaken myself from your grasp, you wheedle your way back into my life by showing me a glimpse of something I want to see, and like a naive schoolgirl, I welcome you back.

I always tell myself, and you, this time will be different. I say that our relationship will be more distant. I won't cling to you, won't crave your feedback, looking for your reassurance that I'm on the right track.

But you always fool me. For the first few weeks, that precious honeymoon period, you tempt me with frequent whispers of praise, showering on compliments. You stroke my ego, feed my confidence... until you've lured me under your spell.

Before long, you have me rushing to you each morning, sometimes a few times a day, looking for your input. Suddenly, I'm letting you act as judge for my every move. Reasons are only excuses; you won't hear them. It's all about numbers, and the numbers speak for themselves. You glare at me with every misstep. Those glimpses of success get fewer and farther between, and are often snatched away at a moment's notice.

It isn't healthy; it isn't right; it's why we had to part ways before.

No, my old friend, I think it's high time we ended this close association. Oh, it isn't for good. You serve a purpose. Maybe once a week or so, we can get together, have a chat. I do appreciate your forthrightness. I do need your feedback. I just can't live every day of my life by it.

I hope you understand. Life isn't just about numbers.

--- A letter to my scale

So, yeah, this was my other revelation this week. After years of not even owning a bathroom scale, my new job, and the gym, both provided my with ready access to one (my job has me working with diabetes education, and weight control is an important facet of that - hence, there is a scale in my office). At first, it was a good thing. Once or twice a week, I'd jump on and see how I was doing. The numbers were going down, so I was still good.

But, as it always does with me, those numbers became an obsession. The very reason I do not own a scale. I started walking in each morning and weighing myself. I was letting those numbers determine how well I thought I was doing, even though I know (and am the first to espouse) that numbers on a scale are very misleading. And worse, I was tying my self-worth to the scale again.

So, on Wednesday, after my sit-down with myself, I threw my scale in my filing cabinet. I made the rule (I am good at following rules) that I am allowed to weigh myself once a week - and not on Monday, when the weekend, and my tendency to let healthy eating and water consumption slide a little, is likely to have interfered with my weight anyway.

I think I'm very proud of myself this week. This is a lot of big revelations to make at once.

Training session tonight and dog show this weekend. Got Xavier mostly groomed - just needs a bath to finish him up. So much for a day off - grooming him is a workout in itself. I m very much looking forward to my training session tonight, and have to remember to ask Shawn how to work out proper interval training on the treadmill now that I'm actually running more distances - I know I should probably be sprinting a bit more, but I don't know how long, or at what speed, or anything. So, I'll ask. I'm quite a distance from the old "run one minute, walk two minutes" I started at.

And, since it is Friday, I cant forget my "Fun Facts Friday!"
  • Many of us reach for a snack when we're feeling down, and while I don't encourage emotional eating, if you feel you need something, next time try a carrot stick instead of a potato chip. Research shows whole foods are better at counter-acting the negative chemicals that cause depression.

  • We all know I love my dogs, and as the show season picks up, I wanted a fun fact for them specifically, so here you are: Pets, or regularly interacting with animals, can help keep you healthier. Studies have shown that pet owners have lower stress levels and blood pressure, better cardiovascular health, and tend to be more active. In one study, post-heart attack patients who had a dog were significantly more likely to be alive after one year than those who didn't!

  • And, since I'm on my own next week while Shawn takes off to sunnier climes, I can totally support his abandoning me by pointing out that regular vacations are as vital to maintaining your well-being as a healthy lifestyle. So plan for at least seven days, leave the laptop at work, and have a good time! (Shawn, if you're reading this, the aforementioned was said in jest. I don't really think you're abandoning me. I'm just jealous because I'll still be at my job for what's going to be a cold, rainy week.)
Happy Friday and have a great weekend everyone!


River said...

Now can you make me do the same please? =) I'm trying very hard not to obsess over numbers. I'm not as bad as I used to be though. I hope this works for you!

Cassandra said...

Step 1: Find your scale.
Step 2: Find a drawer/cupboard/etc.
Step 3: Put scale in said drawer/cupboard/etc.
Step 4: If you feel yourself going to the scale, put a lock on said drawer/cupboard/etc., and give key to significant other. It would be advisable in this case not to lock scale in cupboard with other essential items, i.e., toilet paper. That could be bad.
Step 5: Find some other way to measure your success. I plan to use running on the treadmill. If I can run more this week than I did last week, then I am obviously getting healthier.
Step 6: Blog about it. This is an important one. Otherwise, I will have nothing to read at work.

Hope that helps!

Julie said...

I really try not to let the scale run my life, but it's so hard!! I only step on it once a week now, so I'm getting better!

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