Happy (belated) Mother's Day!

A belated Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there!

Holidays are not really a big deal in my family (Christmas being the one exception), but I have to admit, as I get older, some are starting to get to me a little. Mother's Day, for some reason, is one of those holidays that pulls on me. My own mother and I have a good (if occasionally strained) relationship, but we aren't nearly as close as we once were, and I miss the days where I felt like I was her best friend. Likewise, as I now inch much closer to thirty than twenty-five, the biological clock whose existence I so long denied has been getting louder and louder.

Yes, I have baby fever. I want to celebrate Mother's Day from the other side.

It was actually this realization (which I came to a couple of months after my twenty-fifth birthday) which initially spurred me into action on the weight-loss goal. An acquaintance's wife had just given birth to a baby girl, after a long, complicated, expensive IVF procedure and pregnancy - complications likely worsened by the fact that she is seriously obese. I didn't want to be that woman. I also knew that my own body image issues and confidence issues were seriously complicating any hope I ever had at establishing and maintaining a serious relationship (because I'm not one of those ultra modern independent women - I'm still into the whole husband and family picture). So, if I planned to have the happy family I wanted, I needed to conquer that hurdle first.

Honestly, nearly two years later, I'm not a whole lot closer to my goal of a happy family. I've also decided to return to school this fall, so any and all plans for babies will most definitely be put on hold. But I am healthier, and my continued ambition for my "someday" home with my happy family is enough motivation to keep me on this path. And until I get there, I will wish all you mothers the very best on "your" day, and smile as I think of the day in the future when I get to join you.

After my weekend off at the dog show, I'm onto a full week of solo workouts, and very much looking forward to it. That is, as long as someone is coming into town today and can bring my gym bag to me, since I was an idiot and left it at home this morning. Gotta love Mondays.


baygirl32 said...

Returning to school YEAH! what are you taking??

Babies, well they will come, when the time is right.

Cassandra said...

I'm heading off to law school in the fall. So any babies are at least three years off for me. I'm just hoping I find time to have a social life!

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