Happy 90th Post to me!

Well, I actually have two special posts to put up, but I forgot one important part of one, so I'll have to try to get it done tomorrow and post it then.

But, this is a really important post for me, and one I've been planning and want to share with all of you.

I've been really diligent about not making my blog a "weight loss" blog, because I don't want to see this as a "weight loss" journey. I do really feel it should be so much more than that, and I think my weight is just one facet of a much bigger picture. At the same time, my weight is something I have struggled with for an incredibly long time, and so, it does tend to take center stage. That said, I made a point of not posting weigh-in results, or measurements, or anything like that, because for me, those measurements would me very counter-intuitive to my overall goal. I have a real self-image problem, and placing my success or failure on how I look or what I weigh wouldn't be the best choice for me.

As you all know, it's still an area where I slip, if not always publicly. I had to divorce my scale. I have a lot of moments of self-doubt. I spend a lot of time convincing myself I'm moving forward when I don't see visible results in those areas.

Like most of us who have struggled with our weight, I have never been entirely comfortable in front of a camera. The irony is - I'm a photographer. The good news is, that means I don't often have to be in front of a camera. But, I show dogs, which is a rather publicity driven sport, so I do occasionally find myself on the less-preferable end of the lens. It means that although I didn't necessarily want progress pics - I have them.

And for the first time, I want to share them with all of you.

I'm not at my goal. If the gym scale is to be believed, I have about 14 pounds to go. But I'm closer than I've ever been. And for the first time in my life, I looked at photos done of myself over the last two weekends, and I was actually happy with the person I saw. That's a good feeling.

So, without further adieu.... (and hoping I can make this work)

The beginning
August 2008 (approx 240-250 pounds)


August 2009 (Approx 185-190 lbs)


May 2010 (164-165 lbs)

This was taken yesterday at a photoshoot for an upcoming ad campaign - it was very wet and very cold and I dropped my cellphone in the salt water and now it's probably fried.


Like I said, I really don't like cameras. There are others in between, but these are the ones I wanted to show. These are the ones I look at every time I need to be reminded of just how far I've come, and every time I need a little pat on the back to tell myself "You're not doing too bad, girl."

Fourteen pounds to go. I can do this.

And now you all have a face to put with the name! Please don't run me over in any parking lots!

In other news, I ran over 3.5 miles on Friday night, with only a couple of breaks (one two-minute walking break at the halfway mark, to dry some sweat and catch my breath, and a couple ten-second breaks to fix my headphones)! Woohoo! Go me!! Forty minutes of running at 5.3 mph on the treadmill. I also need to figure out how to make my headphones stay in my ears when I start to sweat. Stupid headphones.

Stay tuned tomorrow for more exciting news and more pics!!