So, opinions anyone?

I'm having a not very good week, calorie-wise. Not that I'm actually counting calories, but I do keep something of a measure in my head.

First there was my decision to imbibe rather heavily Saturday night. Yeah. Alcohol is a little calorie heavy. Then, Monday, I gave in and bought this scrumptious looking piece of cake from Pete's Frootique while I was in Bedford looking for picture frames. I count that as a little bit of a victory though, because I really only ate like, less than half of it, and threw the rest out. Turns out I really just wanted to taste the cake. It tasted divine, by the way. I didn't even save the rest for later. I just threw it out. Then, yesterday, I was craving an oatcake with the organic coffee that has become my lunch ritual. Normally I just blow off those cravings, but yesterday, that wasn't working so well.

Pfft. Shoot.

That's okay. We just put it aside and keep going. It has been a tough week for me, and though I don't think it's okay to use food to deal with my emotions, I also think I need to acknowledge that my level of stress and emotional state is going to have an effect my ability to handle what has been and will always be a problem for me.

I'm also toying with the idea of digging deep through my piggy bank and somehow coming up with the money to hire Shawn for a little while longer. It's really stressing me out, the idea of not having his support and help anymore, since it's become painfully apparent how little I can rely on people elsewhere in my life. At the same time, I wonder if I'm becoming too dependent on that support. I should probably talk to him about this, as well - not that he would likely talk himself out of paying work, but I also think he would give me sound advice.

At some point I'm going to have to be ready to take that leap. I just don't know if I can do it right now.

Because I need to tell myself this.