Well, I'm not dead...

If I was dead, I'd hurt less.

And yet, I'm seriously considering doing this on a regular basis?

I'm not dead, but I may have taken leave of my senses.

I had my "free" half-hour session with Shawn last night. Oh my goodness. Ten minutes in, I seriously wanted to call it quits. That was hard. Really hard.

And yet, honestly, I have to say I enjoyed myself.

Most of that equipment, I've been looking at from my nice safe perch of the treadmills and bikes with suspicion and just a hint of fear. It's foreign, like the food they used to serve at the university cafeteria. I just sort of want to poke it and see if I can identify it, but I don't want to look stupid. So instead, I just ignore it. Probably not the best way to get the most out of my gym membership. Something tells me that equipment doesn't work through osmotic effect (though that would be several degrees of awesome).

Working with Shawn taught me two things: one, none of that equipment is as hard or as scary as I think it is; and two, I am capable of doing a lot more than I think I am. I felt really good about that last part. It also told me that I am probably never going to push myself hard enough on my own. I'm always going to hang back just a little bit, and I really don't want to do that.

So, sore and tired, I'm sitting down tonight to look at the monthly budget and see what I can work out. I'm committed to getting well, and that means having the right tools and knowledge to get well. I really think a trainer is one of those tools.